


so baby now rest in peace (it's all over with now)

by Anonymous



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fuck Or Die, Group Sex, Hate Sex, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 09:53:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13245744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: There was a pause. “Are you sure death isn’t an option?” Barry asked.





	so baby now rest in peace (it's all over with now)

**Author's Note:**

> *eyes emoji* this is bc of a twitter convo. westallen is the only Real ship in this fic. im vaguely sorry. title is from Black Widow by Iggy Azalea again I am vaguely sorry

“You do realize if you don’t do this you’ll both die,” Cisco said seriously.

Barry turned to look at Caitlin. She glared right back at him. “Yeah,” he found himself saying, “I think I’ll take death over this.”

“Oh my god, Barry.” Iris said.

“I agree with Barry on this one,” Caitlin chimed in, arms crossed. “I would rather die than have sex with him.” She shifted on the hospital bed she was in and tried to act like the buzzing under her skin was not getting to her. Barry could feel the heat float through him like chills - it was almost like sweating while having a fever except he could feel the bursts of heat and the pain as they shot up his body.

“You’ll both die!” Iris and Cisco yelled in unity. That wasn’t enough of a persuasion for Barry. Because honestly? Having sex with Caitlin would be like death. Death he’d have to live with for the rest of his life.

“A price I’m willing to pay,” Caitlin said, except now she sounded a little less sure. Sweat had broken out on her forehead and her body was shivering. 

Cisco sighed. “Okay, we get it, you both want to die and have no sense of self preservation. But... would dying really be worth it? After everything we've all been through?” He had a point.

Barry shakily sat up from the hospital bed. “Fine. Fine, let’s figure out how this will work.”

 

\--

 

Living hell. That’s what this was, Caitlin decided. A living hell that she’d endure for the sake of her friends (and to, of course, not  _die_ ) but honestly? The fact that she and Barry had to keep each other alive was part of the most infuriating part of it.

The other part of it was the fact that she and  _ Barry Allen _ , dweeb of the year with that genuine grin that everyone found endearing but Caitlin occasionally felt like punching off of his face, had to have sex. Absolutely not.

Cisco and Iris had helped them move into a small room with a bed in another section of STAR Labs, as there was no way she would have been okay with anyone having sex in her office and as there was no way she wanted anyone to accidentally walk in. The four of them could keep this secret and burden between them. No one else had to suffer.

She and Barry did not look at each other as they slowly undressed, taking more time than they’d usually need to due to the tremors in their hands. It appeared that the compound in the bullets shot through them had stopped Barry’s powers - and had stopped Killer Frost from re-emerging into this fuck show.

“Okay,” Iris said, staring at the naked pair. Caitlin and Barry were still not looking at each other. “Okay, how are we gonna do this?”

“Suggestion: someone lays between us so we don’t have to look at each other,” Barry said.

“Vetoed.”

“Some grabs us each blindfolds so we can try to forget who we’re sleeping with.”

“That… almost sounds reasonable, but that’d require me and Cisco being more hands on than we’d like. So vetoed.”

Caitlin groaned. “How about we act like each of you is fucking us so that we can get this over with?”

“Can’t you act like normal people and treat this like hate sex?”

Barry rolled his eyes. “We’d have to be attracted to each other for hate sex.”

“The compound has made you both aroused, so we’re halfway there.”

"Look," Cisco said, "just think of it as masturbating with sex toys except it's a real person." What?

"What?" Barry asked.

Iris sighed; Caitlin felt herself being moved to the bed. “Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Iris decided. “Cisco and I will both get undressed. Barry, you’ll lie on your back. Caitlin, you’ll ride him. We’ll each distract you so that you can focus on the sex part of this.”

There was a pause. “Are you sure death isn’t an option?” Barry asked.

“Death is an option,” Cisco conceded. “We aren’t going to force you to have sex. If you mutually decide you don’t wanna go through with this, that’s your right.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "But you two have to agree to die together."

Iris spoke up. "We'll be with you no matter what you decide, we promise." Caitlin felt kind of guilty. She didn't want to die, she didn't want to die with  _Barry Allen_. And it was sex, two adults having sex, two adults who hated each other having sex. She turned to look at Barry’s face. Just his face. He was staring back at her.

“Okay,” she said. “Okay, we’ll do this. It’ll be fine, I promise.”

 

\--

 

It was not fine. 

Well, it was fine, because as much as he hated Caitlin that hatred wasn’t actually worth being dead. And Barry knew that in the long run, choosing to have sex with someone he did not like at all was better than... death. And the pain he'd cause the people loved if he died.

That didn’t make it an optimal situation whatsoever.

Barry laid onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. It was tile, glass tile. It was beautiful.

Cisco got right next to him on the bed. They grinned at each other. When Cisco reached out to tug his dick, Barry couldn’t help but give a moan of relief. His body was burning up but Cisco’s hand on his dick made everything seem to slow down a little, cool down a little. Not enough, though.

Sex with Caitlin would cool themselves down and  _ oh my god he was going to have sex with Caitlin Snow _ . A woman who honestly would have killed him if there wasn’t a part of her that knew that she had to keep Barry alive for the sake of other people. Shit.

Cisco kept stroking his dick, moving his other hand to run his fingers through his hair. “You’re super hot, Barry.”

“Thanks, I try.” 

Cisco rolled his eyes. “I mean you’re literally burning up. I’m afraid of what it’ll do to your brain if we don’t do this as soon as we can.” Again, slight pang of guilt for fighting so hard against what he knew he had to do. From the moment Cisco told them what would have to happen to ensure they didn't fucking die he knew that he and Caitlin were more likely to have sex than to not have sex. Also the pain he was experiencing was factually worse than the tortured death he would have endured.

Factually was different from emotionally. Oh god.

Barry frowned but Cisco leaned over and kissed him. Softly. Cisco held his dick up and kept kissing him and Barry tried not to think about who was connected to the heat engulfing it him, focusing on Cisco instead.

But… Barry had to admit. She felt good. Was it the hormones? Was it the fear of death? Who knows, but this wasn’t going to be the most awful experience, he guessed. After all, Caitlin was someone he could tolerate. Caitlin was part of the friend group. And Caitlin… despite everything, made people in his life happy. Barry took a deep breath as Cisco moved his hand away and Caitlin bottomed out.

Wow, okay.

 

\--

 

Caitlin stared at Iris in wonder. Sure, she was on Barry’s dick, which felt unusually soothing, likely because of the circumstances. But Iris was naked and Iris was smiling at her and Iris leaned forward so she had one knee on the bed between the spread legs of the pair.

“You’ve got it?” Iris asked, pushing her hair back with one hand. Caitlin nodded her head. “Good. Start moving.”

It took a second for Caitlin to muster up the courage but once she lifted herself up, Iris closed the rest of the gap to kiss her. And, wow, she hadn’t quite expected that. She’d hoped and dreamed of being kissed by Iris, but this was not the circumstance she’d considered herself in.

Within seconds Caitlin kissed back, focusing on Iris instead of on her motions. Tentatively she reached forward to grab one of Iris’s breath, but Iris caught her hand and placed it firmly on her chest. Caitlin bucked at the sensation. Iris was warm and beautiful and kinder than Caitlin deserved. Iris was now running her hands through Caitlin’s hair; Caitlin bit back a gasp.

“No it’s okay,” Iris said after slightly pulling away from the kiss, “I want to hear you.”

At last, Caitlin let herself moan, let herself vocalize how confusingly good this all was. She could hear Cisco moaning behind her, but she didn’t let herself focus on that. Iris was kissing her harder, Caitlin was flicking one of Iris’s nipples. Boldly she moved her other hand down so she could touch Iris, thrilled at the noise of surprise that Iris released.

Cailin rubbed Iris’s clit before dipping a finger inside her pussy, to which Iris moaned and pushed forward towards the movement. Another finger, Iris pulled away to look down at what Caitlin was doing. Without thinking Caitlin looked down as well, and while she could see part of Barry’s pale body beneath her, she also could see the way Iris was beginning to grind down on her fingers.

“Oh god,” Caitlin groaned. “Oh god, I’m actually kind of close.” Iris looked back up and kissed her deeply, moving a pair of fingers to rub Caitlin’s clit hard. It didn’t take much longer for the heat to build and as Caitlin felt her orgasm flowing over her, Iris kissed her as if she wanted to steal the breath from Caitlin’s lungs.

“Holy shit, holy shit,” she heard from behind her and in seconds Barry jerked his hips a few more times before coming himself. But that didn’t matter, not when Iris was smiling and when Caitlin was still finger fucking her. Iris looked so beautiful when she came. Caitlin was in awe.

 

\--

 

“So that’s over,” Barry said as Caitlin climbed off of him. He sat up so he could remove and tie off the condom, noticing that he felt immediately better. Cisco leaned back over to kiss him deep and dirty, sharing the taste of Cisco’s come that was still on his lips. What does one call a threesome that’s two people having sex but one party isn’t paying attention to the sex and is instead focusing on making Cisco come using his mouth? 

There was no word for that.

Barry looked across the room to Iris. She was grinning in the loopy way she tended to smile after she came hard. Barry couldn’t help but smile back when she caught his eyes.

“Well, that was fun,” Caitlin said almost begrudgingly. She sighed when Iris leaned her chin over Caitlin’s shoulder. 

“I hate to agree with you on anything but…” Barry turned to look back at Cisco who was sighing with relief as he felt Barry’s forehead. “There were aspects of that that weren’t completely terrible.

Iris cheered. “We did it, team!”

Cisco joined the cheer. “If we put our minds to it, anything is possible!”

Barry caught Caitlin’s eye. He’d stared only at her face this entire time and had no interest in ruining the almost positive vibe the two of them had together. But it took mere seconds after the cheering had faded for him to remember that yes, this was a woman he did not like at all.

Caitlin gently stepped out of Iris’s hold. “I need to take a shower. And we will never speak of this again.” She stared intently at Barry and Cisco in turn.

“Wait, before we go back to never saying anything,” Iris interrupted, “I’ve gotta do two things first.” Iris walked across the room and kissed Cisco and wow, that was something Barry wished he could see more often. “Thank you,” she said, and Cisco rubbed her lower back gently. They grinned at each other before Iris walked away.

“Here’s the second thing,” she said, and walked straight over to kiss Caitlin. Barry felt… nothing. He knew that Caitlin and Iris had fucked during the twisted threesome -- foursome? Technically? -- so it wasn’t a surprise that Iris would give her a kiss goodbye, but Barry was happy to not feel jealousy or disgust at the two of them holding each other and kissing intensely.

Iris pulled away from the kiss with a wicked grin. “Okay,” she said, “we’ll never speak of this again.”

Barry had the sinking feeling that this would not be quite true.

**Author's Note:**

> fuck or die is really hard to write & working through what it'd look like as hate sex was also tricky bc i didn't want to make it look like "oh guess we'll only have sex because our friends are guilting us into it" bc that's... not... good. that's Bad. anyways sorry goodbye


End file.
